Crap films, upcoming holiday, and all round random shyte

So, Saw now ranks way down there with House by the Cemetary, Vanilla Sky, Chariots of Fire and numerous other films that I have watched and really regretted. Another two hours of my life that I will never EVER get back. Thats one hundred and twenty minutes; seven thousand, two hundred seconds; just TOO LONG! Plot? What plot? Gore? Nothing too spectacular. It was compared to Se7en, which was a damn good film, which ever genious of a film critic made the comparison should have his balls chopped off and fed to him.

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Island in his Popemobile when suddenly he noticed a frantic commotion just off shore.

There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard.

One of the men, President Bush, quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then, using baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick, "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."

"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about Texas shark fishing... how's the bait holding up?"

I found it funny. Unlike this! Just wrong, so totally, totally wrong.

So, I am off to the good ol sunny UK on Friday night, stupid plane doesn't get to Luton until nigh on 2 in the morning, if it is on time. Once out, Disco Dan will be meeting me there with the lovely Harriet (6 weeks!! its been 6 bloody weeks!!) and then driving us all the way back down to Southampton for a few days of eating, drinking, cavorting, etc :D
2 Foot Hotdog!

Double Penetration hehe!

How much booze is on that table?!



Anyways, I will be sure to take some photos, and let you all know how it went... all those who actually still read this blog :P

Bye for now :)

Day 5!

So the initial mark that was made is nearly gone, the little blood speckles are all that are left of that, but the bruise! GOD DAMN WHAT A BRUISE! My entire bicep has a yellowish tinge to it, getting darker towards the elbow.... Fantastic!!





OOOH.... Penguins!!!!!

First update in a while

So, been busy at work, and havent really had a chance to do a decent update, so I havent bothered. National Day was a blast, as was expected, but, my mates went back to UK shortly after that. Significant other went to UK the day before National Day, so I have kinda been on my lonesome since the 12th of September. Was off the beer for a month, and have now resumed in a much reduced fashion, drinking at the weekends. Saving money, and losing weight, so I'm glad :)
Kitty got a friend, as he was getting a bit too aggressive, which was likey due to boredom in the house alone all day. And yes, I dont think I mentioned it here, HE. Kleopatra the Kamikaze Kat is now King Kleo the Krossdressing Kamikaze Kat, he developed balls for lack of a better way of putting it.
Kleo, meet Faithfull Jaxx, or Faith for short, or chica as I am calling her at the moment. Basement Jaxx were and still are one of my fave groups, so I wanted Jaxx, s/o wanted to call her Faithfull after the cat from Pet Cemetary I think it was, so Faithful Jaxx it was.




So on Sunday I find myself up the hills near Malaga on the Costa del Sol, at a paintball range, with 20 other people I used to work with at the bookmakers for a good few hours paintballing. Nerds V Nerds, Support V Development, 72 points V 27, a thorough thrashing in anyones books. Not many injuries sustained, I got hit in the mouthpeice and managed to swallow some of the lovely tasting waterbased paint... yum. Then, the confusion, storming towards the target (a shed) out pops what I thought was an enemy, shoot at him, he shoots back, both realise we have just killed members of the same team, and laugh about it. Except, he has hit me from very close range, in the arm. Cue pain, and bruising...

Day 1




Day 2


Day 3


Thats what it looks like at the moment, nice and bruised.... fantabulous!!!



Anyways, I think that's it for now. Im off to UK in less than 2 weeks for a complete holiday, no work, no computers, absolutely f all apart from chilling out down south.
All the best :D